Need more confidence? Forget about yourself!

Yesterday I experimented with a new approach to my day: focus on the worth of others, before worrying about my own.

I was worried about how difficult, or even how ridiculous this challenge would be. Actually, it was very easy, and the after effects were astonishing! I’m surprised to be able to write that. Most of my own challenges are the by-product of random reflections.

But yesterday was an awsome day. This is what I noticed when I focused entirely on other people’s worth:

  • You learn to learn from other people. By looking at others and their talents, it’s compelling to want to learn from them. I separated myself from the idea of being a fixed way. Just because I am bad at something one day, doesn’t mean I can’t be good at something the next. I realised that I was labeling myself too harshly! It’s quite easy to adapt once you have the confidence to do so.
  • Perfectionism, be gone! Quite simply, it helps to realise that in a team, you can all bring in different elements. What’s the point in working as a team if we’re expecting to be absolutely perfect at everything?!
  • Confidence breeds confidence. Talent doesn’t necessarily breed talent. If you have confidence in what you can do, other people will too. And having confidence in yourself will stop the feeling that you are competing and help reduce fear. That way,  you will encourage confidence in others. I think often, people aren’t looking for talent in a leader. They are rather looking for someone with confidence, to believe in them and stride forward. If you don’t believe in your own abilities, how can others feel that you believe in theirs?
  • I was 10 times more productive. The truth is, worrying and self-doubt are seriously time consuming! Collaborating, however, saves time. I felt that I was focused more on a common goal, rather than on my performance.
  • Confidence brings out the best in other people. I tutored a really intelligent young girl preparing for her business A Level exams yesterday. Her problem wasn’t her understanding, but her confidence. By focusing on her worth, actively listening came naturally. Because of this, I suddenly became a confident teacher. I simply responded to her needs, showing her
  • Other people doing well brings out the best in you. I left the tutoring session realising that I’d made a huge impact. Active listening and making her realise her true worth was my role during that session. True, she needed a few things clarifying, but raising her self-belief and ability to translate her talents onto paper was what I helped her with. I left the session buzzing and full of confidence. So her talents translated into my confidence, and my talent as a teacher.
  • My purpose shifted. By focusing on other people’s talents, it brings home the point that we are a team. A team that want to achieve a certain goal. Not necessarily just a group of individuals trying to do their best and be amazing as individuals- but just to reach a goal. That’s motivating! Doubting yourself really isn’t motivating!

Self-doubt is a defense system. But it defends you from something that you predict will happen. If you have self-doubt, it actually makes those predictions come true. Self-doubt is self-perpetuating. Having the confidence in yourself, the confidence in other people, and the confidence that you can learn, will help everyone 🙂

Try it! Do you think confidence is as easy as switching your focus onto others, rather than yourself? What is your experience? Let me know what you think by commenting below or tweeting me right now! Let’s get a conversation going, because your confidence matters to you and to me!

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2 thoughts on “Need more confidence? Forget about yourself!

  1. Pingback: Radiate Confidence | Anita Answers

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